Droll, would-be lexicographer Teju Cole updates Flaubert, Ambrose Bierce and Doctor Johnson. Some examples of his handiwork:
INTERNET. A waste of time. Have a long online argument with anyone who disagrees.
JAZZ. America’s classical music. The last album was released in 1965.
NEWSPAPERS. Bemoan their gradual disappearance. Don’t actually buy any.
TELEVISION. Much improved. Better than novels. If someone says “The Wire,” say “The Sopranos,” or vice versa.
TOUR DE FORCE. A film longer than two and a half hours and not in English.